


Dissolution

by Out_of_Options



Series: Sanctuary Trilogy [3]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-05-25 14:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14978765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Out_of_Options/pseuds/Out_of_Options
Summary: As much as Tommy tries to hide it there is a part of him that marks him out as his father's son.Sequel to 'Sanctuary' and 'The Safe House'.I wish that I could say that Peaky Blinders is mine but sadly it isn't.





	1. Chapter 1

The boarding house was a sanctuary both for Alice Wilton and her young son Jack, and for the damaged men that came through her doors. Time spent in well-appointed comfort under her protection was a luxury almost beyond the telling of it for lads who had grown up under canvas or in the teeming slums of Birmingham.

'Here's to a week between Alice's sheets,' Tommy's men would roar as they went out to fight their next furious battle. '… and to a night between her thighs!' It was not something that they would ever dare to say to her face, however. For despite their constant flirting and chafing at her she'd never given them any reason to think that she was not exactly what she appeared to be – a chaste and respectable widow in the employ of the Shelby Company.

She was certainly a devoted daughter, they thought, as her regular trips to see her mother demonstrated. It was well known that Alice's mother was so respectable and so fragile that she could never be allowed to come within fifty miles of the boarding house let alone set foot in it. In consequence Alice was obliged to take the train to visit her regularly leaving the dedicated Edie in charge in the boarding house and Jack. No one had ever guessed that those periodic trips away were actually an opportunity for Alice and Tommy to spend time together making up for their enforced separation.

The Peaky Blinders had rapidly taken little Jack under their wing. How could they not? Most of them had known him since he was only a few months old and they all adored his mother. In any case he was a merry and engaging little lad who was always keen to listen to their tall tales or fetch and carry for them. If his intense eyes seemed a little familiar, well who was to say. There was more than one man in Birmingham with pale watchful eyes. In any case, his thick brown curls and sweet smile were all his mother's.

The younger Lee boys showed a particular interest in him as he got older, taking him off for adventures in the woods or up on to the commons where they taught him to catch rabbits and shoot a gun. Charlie had sometimes come along and the two half-brothers had begun an innocent friendship totally unaware of the truth about their relationship. Now, just shy of his 9th birthday, Jack was sitting goggle eyed as one of Tommy's lads gave a graphic account of an illegal boxing match he had taken part in. Looking on watchfully, Alice stifled her concerns. She didn't like it but she knew that one day Jack would enter the Blinders' dangerous world himself. It would do him no good to go in to it ignorant and unprepared. The struggles undergone by Michael Gray when he had first found his way back to his mother offered ample evidence of this. All she could do was protect him until that time.

Her relationship with Tommy was still a source of great joy for Alice, although keeping it secret from the ever inquisitive Jack had rapidly become all but impossible. When she judged him old enough she had told him the partial truth and sworn him to secrecy. Nodding solemnly the little boy had agreed not to say a word, nor had he in the years since. He had clearly taken the Blinders views on narks to heart. That Thomas Shelby was his father remained hidden from him; there was time enough for that when he was grown.

The highlight of their time together was unquestionably the occasional weeks that she and Tommy stole together by the coast. When Jack was two years old Tommy had purchase a house for them in Whitby. The small seaside town was away in Yorkshire, sufficiently far from anyone who might know them that they could live there together openly, in the guise of man and wife. Their visits there were bliss. During the day they would wander arm-in-arm along the prom or explore the Abbey and its grounds, chatting about everything and nothing - free, for a time, from the awful pressures of Tommy's dangerous world. At night they would make love.

Over the years they had taken great delight in learning the intricacies of each other's bodies: that sensitive spot on Alice's neck which made her whimper with pleasure when Tommy nibbled it; or the languid rhythm she would set with her hand which she knew would make Tommy beg for release. In Whitby they were able to indulge themselves to their hearts content.

Occasionally Alice would wake to find Tommy looking at her, searching her face intently for something he could never seem to find. Embarrassed by the intensity of his gaze she would wriggle closer and find a way to distract him. At other times she would catch him staring at her in a way she found almost frightening. It was a look that was by turns puzzled and wary. At first she had tried to find out what was troubling him but he would always brush off her questions with a laugh; eventually she stopped asking.

\---

Tommy could not deny that the opening of the boarding house had been a good idea. The nominally legitimate side of the business made a tidy profit which was more than enough to cover the expenses incurred by any of the Shelby Company men who went to the safe house to recuperate or lay low.

The safe house itself was an extraordinary network of rooms built largely in to the cellars below the main building. It incorporated a number of bedrooms, a treatment room, a large kitchen, a still room, and finally a parlour, where men who were well enough to get out of bed could congregate and take their ease all out of sight of anyone coming or going upstairs.

Tommy loved to visit his men in the hidden rooms beneath the boarding house. He would sit with them for hours relaxing and playing cards. All the while he would subtly watch them interact with Alice. He was fascinated by their behaviour towards her. They were a rough lot but they treated her with an exaggerated courtesy which almost made him laugh out loud, falling over each other to help her lift heavy pots on to the dinner table, fix broken furniture, or set the fires. But if they were gentle in their usual dealings with her they could not contain their essential natures for long and the parlour and kitchen were usually filled with roars of laughter, foul language, outrageous flirting, and a thick fog of smoke. At the centre of it all, Alice fretted, organised, and healed. She controlled her staff and the men in her care like a general on the battlefield. One sharp word from her, a single pointed look, and any bad behaviour would stop instantly. She had plainly been taking lessons from Polly.

Tommy could always tell when Polly and Alice had had their heads together over a piece of business whether it be better wages for the girls in the betting shops, a soldier who needed to be helped to retire, or any other thing that caught their attention. They would approach him independently of one another but their actions and their arguments would be marshalled in a clearly coordinated pincer movement. When they worked together like this, they usually had good reason so he generally took their advice.

Through all of this organised chaos his son Jack romped and played. Tommy watched him with secret pride as he grew: at three he had clambered fearlessly in to the laps of scarred and bruised men who had only days before committed acts of the most extreme violence; at five he had sat quietly learning card tricks and cons from professional card sharps; at seven he had begun to learn to handle a blade. His son was totally relaxed with the men of the Peaky Blinders and in return they treated him like a favourite younger brother. Tommy's only concern was Alice. He could see how hard it was for her to bite her tongue at some of the stories they told her child, to brush off the brutality that was part and parcel of Tommy's daily business, or to resign herself to the dangers of what was to be her son's future.

He loved Alice more than he had thought it would possible to love anyone after Grace. Sometimes he could hardly bear to keep his hands off her. On a few occasions he had taken her over the desk in her office on the ground floor but this had been fraught with danger and had also brought back uncomfortable memories of his times with Lizzie Stark. Now he restrained himself until he could coax her away for a night or two; she deserved better than to be treated as his whore.

The best times were undoubtedly those when he managed to take her away to the house in Whitby. It was restful, he felt, to occasionally pretend that they were a normal couple. However, he knew that it was not true and never could be. Although he tried to put on a good front for Alice, inside there was a constant nagging fear that she would see the truth of what he was and realise how unworthy he was of her. At that point she would surely leave him and take Jack with her. He fretted over it constantly unable to find a moments peace.


	2. Chapter 2

Despite her title the Honourable Lady Eloise Halsbury was neither very honourable nor much of a lady. An ill-advised, and mercifully short-lived, first marriage to a painter – a foreign one, at that! – had ruined her prospects of a respectable match amongst her own class, although she found it hard to care. Her father, who doted on her, had had a very profitable war and made an absolute fortune in munitions; she would never want for anything.

She now ran with a very fast set indeed – the idle children of the newly wealthy, the indulged younger children of the aristocracy, and, occasionally, a movie star or two. She took her pleasures when and where she fancied and to the devil with the gossip. That said it did you good to leave London occasionally. The men there could be so exhausting with their petty jealousies… and as for the women. My god, there were some she'd like to take a horsewhip to! And even the wildest parties, jazz clubs, and opium dens could become dull from constant exposure. Seeking to avoid a particularly persistent Italian racing driver she had rashly accepted an invitation from friends of her father's, which was why she now found herself part of an achingly dull shooting party in Warwickshire, throwing back gin cobblers as if her life depended on it.

She needed some excitement… preferably something risky and outrageous. If Sebastian had come up as he'd promised then she could have asked him to take her for a spin in his plane but he was still cooling his heels down in the wilds of Cornwall after an unfortunate incident with an Earl's (formerly) virgin daughter. One of the Edmund brothers might be persuaded to take her into town later though. There was bound to be something to do there even if it was far from the demi-monde in which she usually circulated. She'd heard that the Birmingham Palais was worth a trip. Who knew what kind of trouble she might be able to find there. In the meantime she had spotted a rather attractive groom in the stables behind the house and wondered whether he might be persuaded to take her for a ride somewhere secluded.

\---

'I don't know why we have to come to this place', Arthur growled cracking his knuckles in irritation. 'I fucking hate this music.'

Tommy relaxed in his seat, stretching his long legs in front of him, and then responded with a sigh. 'We come to be seen, Arthur, you know that. So shut your fucking mouth and drink your fucking drink.'

By contrast, Eloise was thoroughly enjoying herself. The Palais was everything that she had been led to believe and more. There was music, dancing, drugs, and more willing and unsuitable men than even she could handle. Oh yes, her trip to the sticks had been well worth it. Dumping the dull Dickie Edmund on an unsuspecting shop girl she had begun to tour the room, coolly sizing up likely candidates. Finally she spotted a man around whom a sense of danger hung like smoke. He was surrounded by people, fetching this and that, handing him drinks, whispering in his ear yet he seemed quite alone and all the while his watchful eyes scanned the room coldly. He reminded her of a gangster she had once met in a speakeasy in New York. Her stomach roiled at the memory and she felt a pleasurable rush of moisture between her legs. Now that, she thought, had been a good night.

She grabbed a nearby dancer by the arm and asked her who the man was. The flapper peered over at the booth drunkenly and then reared back in shock.

'That's Thomas fucking Shelby, boss of the Peaky Blinders,' she slurred. 'Jesus, he's looking this way!' The woman shook off Eloise's restraining hand frantically, grabbed her partner, and they staggered off. Unafraid Eloise simply raised her chin arrogantly and met his gaze straight on. With a slight quirk of her lips and a tilt of her glass she toasted him then turned on her heels and walked off swaying her hips. That should get his attention!

Tommy watched her go, intrigued. Very few people ever dared return one of his cold stares. Men were usually frightened that he would explode in to violence. Even in the firm there were those who rarely looked him in the eye. As for women… well who knew what went on in their heads? Only Alice, with her gentle sweetness, had ever really learned to see behind the grim façade and still he kept a lot hidden from her. This woman was something different, something new. It was as if she wanted the violence and danger. She glittered like a diamond under the electric lights: cold, hard, and perfect. He would love to see her composure shatter as he took her. He hadn't been so instantly aroused by a woman since he was a lad. With a brief nod to Arthur he rose and followed her, the crowd of merry makers parting instinctively before him then surging together again once he had passed by.

\---

She was stood close to the bar with a slight smile on her face, watching as he approached.

'A woman like you could get in to trouble around here', Tommy said mockingly.

'Well I should damn well hope so,' Eloise drawled back. 'Otherwise what's the point?'

He moved up to her, indecently close. She could feel his hard body pressing against her through the thin silk of her dress. His excitement was plain. Reaching down she brushed her fingers delicately along the length of his erection, smiling at the hitch in his breath.

'Well I don't have all night', she said sharply, pulling back. 'If we're going to fuck, let's get on with it.' She turned and strutted towards the exit, confident that he would follow.

Momentarily nonplussed, Tommy stared at her retreating back. That was definitely new! Desire tugging at him he strode after her.


	3. Chapter 3

Tommy had met many hedonists in his time - indeed his business relied upon them – but Eloise was in a different class entirely. Her desires were so wide-ranging and her appetites so large, that he was both attracted and repelled. There was no act of debasement that she was unwilling to perform nor vice in which she would not engage, or if there was he had yet to identify it. Even the behaviour of the Grand Duchess paled by comparison. She was utterly different to Alice.

Sex was a case in point. With Alice, their couplings had always been intense but tender, an endless source of comfort. In contrast that first night with Eloise had been exquisite but vicious. She scratched, she bit, she punched… at one point she had even wrapped her slender hands around his throat and squeezed until his vision began to blur. Everything she did seemed calculated to cause as much pain as it did pleasure and she goaded him in to treating her just as cruelly.

Disturbed, Tommy recognised something in her that also lurked deep within himself, something which had fought to take control of him ever since his time in France. It was the bit of him that marked him as his father's son and now it was free. Tommy was disgusted with himself, with his weakness, but Elise had burrowed into his soul like a canker, rotting it from the inside out.

Within a month, Eloise was firmly ensconced at Arrow House and living openly as Thomas Shelby's mistress. For his part Tommy seemed mesmerised by her and, as the weeks went by, he fell more and more under her control: he neglected the business; he neglected his family; he even kept his distance from Alice. Everything was focused on keeping Eloise happy and deadening the guilt and fear inside.

\---

Finally pushed beyond endurance by the scandal of his daughter publically taking a gangster for a lover, Viscount Halsbury issued Eloise with an ultimatum: return to the family home and remain there, or be disinherited. When none of her usual ploys to bring him round managed to shake his determination Eloise demanded that Tommy marry her. Her fury when he hesitated led to unparalleled levels of cruelty and spite on her part followed by hysterical tears, and, eventually, subtle suggestions that she might be pregnant. Worn down with self-loathing and feeling that he had no other option, Tommy eventually capitulated. Decision made he refused to listen to reason.

'You abided by my decision with Grace, and you'll abide by this one' he said firmly to his aunt. 'I'm marrying Eloise next month and that's an end to it.'

And how well did the last marriage go? Polly thought sourly, although she was wise enough to keep her lips buttoned on that particular issue.

'Her father's as rich as god', he continued. 'When we have our hands on his money we won't have to worry ever again. We could go legit. Hell, we could all retire!'

'You know that he's said he'll cut her off', Polly responded scornfully.

'She'll still have access to her annual income – that's from her mother's family and her father can't touch it. Anyway he'll come round when she's married.'

Who is it you're trying to convince, Polly wondered, me or yourself? 'Even if he does come round his money is so soaked in blood it makes ours look fresh-minted. He was a war profiteer for god's sake. Him and his kind did more damage to us and ours than the Huns', she hissed. 'By god but you'll live to regret this Tommy Shelby'.

'That had better not be a threat, Pol', he responded tightly. She could see a muscle ticking in his jaw, never a good sign.

'Of course it's not a damn threat. It's a foretelling.'

Fists clenching in anger, Tommy stalked from the room.

Lowering herself wearily into the chair nearest the fire, Polly began to rub gently at her temples. She definitely had a headache brewing. In some ways she knew that she should have been happy with Tommy's news. It was what she and Alice had planned for after all: a wife for Tommy who could bring the family money and connections whilst Alice raised little Jack in relative safety. Eloise certainly had the money and connections even if her father did disinherit her. Unfortunately she also had all the warmth and personality of a pit viper. She treated Tommy's brothers and the rest of the men with open contempt and in return they despised her. They seldom came to the house now and all business was completed in the company offices where they knew they would not have to encounter her. Even the servants, who were schooled to overlook the bad behaviour of their 'betters' were beginning to make their displeasure known. It was hard to conceive of Tommy making a worse choice of bride and she really was not looking forward to telling Alice.

With a humourless laugh she realised that she actually missed Grace.


	4. Chapter 4

Intellectually, Alice had always known that Tommy had had other women through the years. How could he not? It was expected of a man in his line of work, particularly one without a wife, and at the beginning it had scarcely touched her. She was wrapped up in caring for their child, running the boarding house, and yes, totally confident of Tommy's devotion. The other women were business, she reasoned; she was love - so when Eloise had first entered his life Alice had taken no more notice than usual. At first, wilful blindness and a certain distance allowed her to believe that nothing had changed. Then, for only the third time since their relationship had begun, Tommy had cancelled their weekend trip to 'visit her mother'. But, where before he had told her himself, laying out the tricky business issues which had forced him to focus elsewhere and seeking her input, on this occasion it was Polly who had brought the message. Polly had given her no reason for his absence but Alice could feel the anger and disapproval coming off her in waves.

She was getting a strange sensation from the men who passed through her care too. They were never openly disrespectful about Tommy but on occasions she had walked in on muttered conversations about 'the bitch' and about how he was being led by his cock rather than by reason. Alice felt a growing sense of unease.

Then he cancelled their upcoming trip to Whitby. This time he told her in person.

\---

The moment he stepped in to her office she knew something was wrong. He looked depressed and exhausted and there was a deep gouge across one of his cheeks which looked like it had been made by a fingernail. Not making the slightest move to touch her he flung himself heavily into the chair facing her. Tensing slightly, Alice set aside her accounts.

'What's going on Tommy love?' she said with concern.

'I can't go to Whitby,' he said coldly, staring stonily in to the middle distance.

'But why?' she asked unhappily.

'I'm going to Paris. I'll be gone for a few weeks.'

Alice was confused. As far as she was aware there were no Shelby interests in France and it was hardly a country that held fond memories for him. 'Are you looking to expand?' she asked.

'It's not business', he ground out.

'Well why don't I come with you?' she asked, a little desperately. 'We can spend some time together. I've never been overseas.'

Looking at her directly for the first time, he said 'I think it would be considered inappropriate to take my mistress on my honeymoon' He paused. 'I won't be calling on you again, Alice. I thought you deserved to hear it from me directly.'

'You're getting married?' she asked, her face a mask of confusion. 'Who to? What do you mean you won't be calling again?'

Levering himself up from chair he looked down at her without emotion. 'I have a duty to Eloise. We can't meet again'. At that he walked briskly from the room leaving Alice frozen in her seat. It was only once he was well away from the house that Tommy allowed himself a brief moment of grief - giving up Alice had cost him more than he could say. Nevertheless it had had to be done. He was tainted now and had proved himself totally unworthy of her - any further contact between them could only hurt her.

\---

Alice found it hard to remember that leaving Tommy free to marry had been her idea all along. What had she been thinking! Devastated she threw herself into her work and there was certainly plenty of it. Over the first few months of Tommy's marriage the numbers of wounded men coming through her doors multiplied alarmingly and the seriousness of their hurts increased as well. Sometimes she was hard pressed to even keep them alive let alone restore them to full health.

After the second death Alice realised that this was not the normal ebb and flow of business. There was something seriously amiss and it couldn't go on. Decide, she put on her smartest dress, painted her face, and carefully curled her hair. She needed all the confidence that these preparations could give her. Driving a pin fiercely through her hat, wincing as it scratched her scalp, she squared her shoulders and set off to do battle with the man she loved.

\---

Without announcing herself Alice stormed in to Tommy's study. Then she stopped, confused. For a moment she did not recognise the man sprawled in the chair behind Tommy's desk. Then with growing horror she took in the puffy red eyes, heavy jowls, and the general air of dissipation. What the hell had happened to him in the three months since his marriage?

'What do you want Alice?' he slurred, looking confused. Then he brightened and took another massive slug of whiskey. 'What do you think, Eloise – should we ask her to stay and play?' Surprised Alice looked behind her to where Eloise was quietly lounging on a couch half hidden behind the open door.

'Christ no,' Eloise sneered, looking down her long nose at Alice. 'You haven't a clue where she's been. At least we know that the maids are clean.' She smoothed her hand on the velvet upholstery as if trying to wipe Alice's taint from her delicate pale skin. 'Is this the one whose husband was so desperate to get away from her that he ran off to get killed?' She asked cruelly. Stunned into silence Alice could only stare at her.

Standing up, Eloise stalked toward Alice. Then, leaning in until she was uncomfortably close, she hissed at her. 'I'll have no common sluts in my house even if they are the mother of my husband's bastard.'

As if she had been slapped, Alice recoiled. Then she rounded on Tommy. 'You told her? How could you tell her? You promised!' Her throat clenched in fear. 'You know that it's the only sure way to keep Jack safe.'

For a moment she saw a glimpse of the old Tommy staring back at her but it only lasted for a second. Then he shrugged carelessly. 'She's my wife. She deserved to know.' He paused. 'Don't come back to Arrow House again, Alice. If I want you I'll let you know. You can deal with Polly from now on.'

In shock, Alice could only nod her acquiescence. She left the room stiff backed.

She made it as far as the kitchens before the tears came.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the years Alice had horded the memories she had of her all too brief times with Tommy, turning them over in her mind like they were precious trinkets, but if she was honest with herself in all years she had been his lover they had probably spent no more than six months in each other's company - did she really know him at all? Even before his marriage their meetings had increasingly tended towards discussions of the business, and their love making, though no less intense when it happened, had become secondary to the comfort of simply spending time in each other's company. At the time she had believed that this was evidence that their relationship was maturing – turning from a youthful all-consuming passion to a loving and mutually supportive partnership – but perhaps she had been wrong. Perhaps everything she believed about him and about their relationship was a lie. Her heart broke a little more. And now he had put at risk the one good thing in her life! Where once she would have gone into the fire for Tommy Shelby now she wasn't sure if she even liked him very much.

Having ejected the servants from their own kitchen (a not uncommon occurrence in the Shelby household) Polly sat Alice down and dosed her with a large glass of medicinal whiskey. Gagging at the taste of the spirit she loathed at least had the effect of stopping Alice's tears.

'What's the hell's going on here?' she asked at Polly at last.

In response, Polly clenched her fists and let forth a stream of Shelta and English profanities so expressive and inventive that even Alice, who had nursed wounded men for over a decade, learnt something new. Eventually the raging woman calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence.

'That bitch has totally got into his head,' she said harshly. 'She's laid bare all the damage his bloody father did to him as a kid and she's playing on it. He's that desperate for her approval he'll do whatever she wants. But he can never win - she's always at him to have one more drink, one more pipe, one more line - and the more he does the more she digs at him. It's got so he can barely think. She's ruined everything that we've worked for all these years. Damn her to hell!' Frustrated Polly massaged the base of her skull in the hope of lessoning the tension there.

'I didn't realise that it had got so bad', said Alice, horrified.

Polly ran her hands through her hair. 'It's worse than that. Arthur and the boys are doing their best to keep things ticking over but between you and me they just don't have the nous for it. Even our allies amongst the Gypsies and the Jews are starting to ask questions about our commitment. Hell Jimmy Dogs came to me cap in hand last week asking me to intervene and he hates women being involved in business.'

'You think it will come to a war?' Alice asked sharply.

Polly closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath, 'If he doesn't take back control soon I fear it will be much more one sided than that.'

\---

The violence around the Peaky Blinders continued to escalate and without the warmth of Tommy's love Alice felt nothing but despair - she had to get away. Eventually, she managed to persuade Tommy to come to the boarding house one final time. He looked debauched and unhealthy and if anything he seemed further gone than he had when she had seen him at Arrow House only a fortnight before. She felt a flash of revulsion.

'I can't do this anymore Tommy,' Alice said quietly. 'I just can't be around all this pointless violence any longer. And now I don't even have you… It's no life.'

He looked at her impassively. 'If it's money you want…'

The sharp sound of her hand meeting this cheekbone shocked them both. 'You damn well know it's not!'

He moved closer to her, trying to take hold of her wrist. 'Alice, I…'

'It's OK,' she interrupted, holding her hands up to make him back off. 'It's just… over. There's nothing left between us but the boy and I'll lose him too soon enough. I know it's not where we thought we'd end up all those years ago but it can't be helped. '

'What will you do?' he asked fixing her with his intense gaze. 'Whatever happens between us you can't keep Jack away from me.' His voice was rough. 'He's nearly ten now – old enough to be brought in to the family.'

'I know, Tommy', she said brokenly. 'Just give me a while to get my head together and then we can sort things out. Will your wife have him in the house?' She could not bear to say the bitch's name.

'She will – whatever she thinks it's still my house,' he ground out. 'Polly will help see to him.' Alice nodded helplessly.

'I'll leave Edie in charge of the Boarding House.' Alice said numbly. 'She's more than capable. The men like her too, which helps. Then I'll go away for a bit, maybe up to the house in Whitby. I've plenty put by.'

They stood silently for a while, staring in to each other's faces, both searching for a reason to step back from the brink. Tommy dropped his eyes first. 'I'd best be going. I've things to sort out back at the house. I'll give you two months and then I'll send for the boy.' He paused. 'You can sort out the rest with Polly before you leave.' At that he turned on his heels and strode out.

It wasn't until she heard the sound of his car pulling away that Alice stirred. There were no tears. Whatever they had had was dead and gone; she was done crying over Thomas Shelby.

\---

Matters came to a head barely a month after Alice and Jack left for Whitby. The Italians hit the Shelby Company's interests in Birmingham in a coordinated attack. Not only did they turn over the betting shops and torch the pubs but they actually invaded Arrow House – destroying everything they could get their hand on. Worryingly the Lees had been nowhere to be seen. Fortunately the Italians had not found the safe house so the Blinders managed to call in reinforcements at a critical momement and they had eventually managed to drive them off. The cost, however, had been massive both in terms of blood and money. The one good thing was that Charlie had been staying with a school friend and had therefore been out of harm's way.

Head in his hands, Tommy sat in the wreckage of what had once been his graciously appointed study at Arrow House. His ribs ached where he had taken a dozen fierce blows and he could hardly see out of his left eye. Worse still his brain was so mazed with drink and drugs, and from the lack of sleep that had bothered him for the last few months, that he could barely formulate a coherent thought. All he wanted to do was lay his head in Alice's lap and let her stroke away the pain but he knew that that would never happen again. He had pushed her away all too effectively. In despair he made his way up to his wife's bedroom. There he found her chivvying one of their few remaining maids in to packing up her extensive wardrobe.

'What the hell's going on, Eloise,' he asked in confusion.

Furiously she rounded on him. 'What do you think's going on? I'm leaving you, you bloody fool! I thought I'd married a man', she continued with a sneer, 'but all I got was a weakling. You're pathetic Thomas Shelby – a nothing. The mere thought of letting you touch me again makes my skin crawl - now get away from me!' Tommy recoiled in the face of her verbal assault.

'Daddy has agreed to help me get a divorce', she said off-handedly. 'It's all very vexing. At least my first husband had the good grace to kill himself and save me the bother. I don't suppose you'd oblige would you?' Eyes glittering with malice she added 'Maybe I'll have it put about that you were sleeping with that bitch Polly. Incest would certainly strengthen my case. How does it feel to know that they'll be talking about it in Parliament?' She paused, pretending to consider her options. 'Or maybe I could just get an annulment. I'll say you're impotent. Looking at the state of you I doubt anyone would be surprised. '

Perhaps truly seeing her for the first time he finally realised the extent of his error in ever allowing her into his life. With a trace of his old fire he stepped towards her and gripped her jaw in his hand, squeezing cruelly. Her breath quickened at the promise of violence and disgusted he released her. 'Just get out, you nasty bitch. I'll not contest a divorce but tell lies about me or mine and I'll cut your throat.'

\---

Free of his wife's malign influence, Tommy should have been able to regain control of the business. However, gripped by guilt and grief he retreated further into himself and his use of opium once again became a serious concern. Unable to reach him, and desperately worried, Polly begged Alice to come home.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite the reason for the trip, Alice had found a measure of contentment in Whitby. The place held wonderful memories for her of happier times with Tommy, and it was good to get Jack away from the filthy streets of Birmingham. The fresh sea air blew the cobwebs from her mind and the sun warmed her through to her very soul. Jack seemed happy too although he missed his friends. In August, the small town had filled with thousands of visitors who had come to attend the Regatta. Losing themselves in the crowds Alice and Jack had cheered on the teams competing for the Wilson Cup and laughed along with the rest of the onlookers at the fancy dress and decorated carts.

It was a good time and gradually Alice began to regain her sense of self. As she did so she realised that she could never let her child go anywhere near Eloise. Even with Polly's protective presence she would damage him as surely as Tommy's father had damaged him. She resolved that she would never return to Birmingham. Instead she would take what was left of her savings and then Jack and her would run away as far and as fast as they could.

When Polly's call came it was more unwelcome than Alice could put in to words. The thought of returning to her old life was beyond painful but she owed Polly – and she could not bear the thought of Tommy being in pain. With a heavy heart she packed their things, left instructions for the housekeeper, and then she took Jack to the station to catch the train home.

___

It felt strange being back at Arrow House. She had not been there in months – not since that awful interview with Tommy and Eloise. Avoiding the front entrance, she walked round to the back of the house, dragging her feet like a child making their reluctant way to school, before letting herself in through the scullery door. As expected Polly was in the kitchen.

'Thank god you've finally made it', Polly exclaimed, rising to hug her. She looked exhausted.

'Is he no better?' Alice asked.

Polly shook her head. 'If anything he's worse. He hasn't eaten in days. He just lies on his bed smoking his pipe. His nightmares are getting worse too. Last night he had the whole house in an uproar cos he was sure that the Germans were knocking through the walls. Damn that woman', she growled in frustration. 'I thought things would get better once we finally got rid of her but she played on every one of his worst instincts; made it so that he thought that she was all he deserved. Now she's gone he's just a confused mess of guilt and self-loathing. I've tried everything I can think off to get through to him. Even Arthur's tried,' she added with a hollow laugh. 'Although to be fair that mainly consisted of Arthur swearing at him and then trying to knock seven bells out of him.'

'What did Tommy do?' Alice asked, horrified.

'That was the worst of it', Polly replied. 'He didn't react at all. When I finally got Arthur off him he just lit up another bloody pipe and turned his back on us.'

They sat in brooding silence for a while, sipping tea, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally Alice rose.

'I think you'd better take me to him, Pol,' she said firmly.

\---

As she opened the door of Tommy's room Alice's nose wrinkled in disgust; it stank. There was the sharp rank stink of stale sweat, the bitter tang of cigarette smoke, and hanging over it all the heavy, slightly floral scent of opium. Through the gloom and swirling smoke, Tommy was a barely visible lump on the bed. She called his name but there was no reaction. She called again, louder, and then a third time louder still. At this the shape shifted but there was no further reaction. Alice froze uncertainly on the threshold. She desperately wanted to run back to Whitby with Jack. Then she saw Tommy reach out towards his pipe and suddenly she was furious. He had people who depended on him, who deserved his loyalty - how could be so selfish? This was going to end now!

The next three weeks were dreadful for all concerned. Whilst Polly set her mind to mending relationships with the Shelby family's allies, Alice focussed on weaning Tommy off opium. It was slow going. Not wanting to shock his system, she reduced the dose gradually but he still suffered for the want of it - sweating and purging by turns. At times he would beg and plead for more opium but she hardened her heart against him knowing that she only had one chance to help him; at other times he cursed her for a she-devil and damned the day that he'd ever met her. The nightmares also took on a more extreme dimension and on one occasion only Arthur's quick actions prevented Tommy from doing himself or her serious harm.

Towards the end of the third week Tommy seemed easier in himself. He was finally able to keep food and liquid down and even get out of bed for short periods – although he had now stopped talking entirely. With the last of her energy Alice blitzed the room, throwing open windows, cleaning and polishing, changing sheets, and, for what she hoped would be the final time, she helped Tommy to stand whilst he washed himself. Once Tommy was settled down again she left him to Arthur's tender mercies and headed to the kitchen for sustenance.

'I think he's over the worst', Alice mumbled wearily as she came through the kitchen door.

'Good news', Polly replied then, catching sight of Alice's face, she added caustically. 'Christ! You look worse than he does.' Alice didn't even have the strength to respond. Pouring her a cup of tea and ladling in sugar as though it was going out of fashion, Polly encouraged Alice to take a seat. 'I have news', she said.

'Huh?' Alice responded dully.

'The Lees are back in the fold', Polly said triumphantly. 'The cheeky bastards realised what side their bread was buttered on and came slinking back – once I'd laid out a few home truths at least. Solomon's lot will take a little bit longer to trust us again but he's a businessman so I made him an offer that he couldn't refuse. It'll cost us in the short term but once Tommy's back on his feet we can get things back to normal. Then we can work out what to do with those Italian bastards.'

'That's good', Alice said faintly, her eyes beginning to close.


	7. Chapter 7

Alice was woken by a bright shaft sunlight hitting her face. Groaning, she raised an arm to protect her eyes from the assault. For a moment she was confused, not at all certain how she had come to be tucked up in this wonderfully comfortable bed. Her last memory was of talking to Polly in the kitchen.

'I'm glad to see you awake, finally', said Polly with a slight quirk of her lips. 'You've been dead to the world for nearly two days.' She was stood by the window and it was plainly her who had pulled back the curtains in order to rouse Alice.

'Is Tommy OK?' Alice asked concerned. 'I can't believe I left him alone for two whole days!' She wriggled upright, noticing as she did that someone had kindly replaced her soiled and crumpled clothes with a more comfortable night gown. She truly must have been out of if she hadn't woken when they stripped her.

Polly laughed. 'You're not the only person in the house Alice. We've managed well enough the last few days - and anyway you were exhausted.' Then she paused, giving Alice a gentle, compassionate look. 'He's been asking after you, pet. It's only Arthur who's had the strength to keep him in his bed now he's nearly well. Why don't you go and see him. Get things sorted out.'

Alice was unsure. Caring for Tommy when he was sick was one thing. She was trained for it, well able to supress any personal feelings and concentrate solely on the needs of the patient, but this was different. She was not sure that she could hide her pain or, worse still, her disgust at his behaviour.

'I'm not sure I can', she said with a gentle shake of her head. 'I don't think I can bear to look at him after what he done.'

Polly's look of compassion was replaced with one of irritation. 'Don't be such a fool, Alice. The first thing you ask about when you wake is him. The first thing he asks about when he wakes is you. Whatever's passed between you there's clearly still love there.' She began to pace restlessly. 'If you'd not been so bloody determined to go your own way when the two of you first met then all of this shit might have been avoided. I supported your decision to stay in the background all those years ago because I thought you knew what you were doing… and, yes, I'll admit that at the start it was attractive to think that Tommy could have you and still make an advantageous marriage.' She sparked up a cigarette, drawing on it deeply. 'But it was clear even then that he needed you and that what he had with you was his best chance of being made whole again. I thought that you could see that too but instead of fighting for him you just ran away as soon as things got a little bit difficult'

Stung, Alice retorted. 'He left me. He turned his back on me.' She slammed the edge of her clenched fist against the bedspread. 'I've done nothing wrong!'

'You've done nothing at all!' hissed Polly 'And that's the problem. Tommy doesn't feel that he deserves love so he constantly pushes it away; he needed you to keep trying, to keep telling him he was worthy, to keep showing him that you valued him! Yes he's made a god awful cock up of things but he's a Shelby man – what do you expect? They are what their father made them. Their response to strong emotions is to punch something – or to try to drown the feeling in booze, or drugs, or sex. If you have an ounce of feeling left for him – and I know you bloody well do – then you'll go in to him right now and show him that you still think he's worth something.'

Angry beyond words at the outrageous injustice of it, Alice could only watch as Polly stalked from the room. Her fury kept her locked in her room for 50 long minutes but as it faded she realised that she could not avoid a final meeting with Tommy – however it turned out. Heart-sick she pulled on a dressing gown and slipped her feet into some Turkish slippers; then she went to face Tommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to confess to already writing (and publishing elsewhere) the ending to this story. However, the more I read it back the more I see a different ending. Once you've read thus far I'd be really pleased if you let me know whether you would prefer a happy or not so happy ending and I'll see what I can do. :-)


	8. Happy Ending!

Alice's first sight of Tommy when she entered his room near broke her heart. He was even thinner than he had been two days before and his bones stood out even more prominently in his face than usual, but what was worse was the look in his eyes – desperation so intense that it was almost fear, mingled with an awful kind of resignation. He looked like a mistreated dog that yearned for kindness but expected only another beating. For a moment they stared at one another then Tommy dropped his head. He clasped his hands together so tightly that she should see his knuckles turn white.

Focussing intently on his hands he said wretchedly. 'I know I have no right to ask but Alice please… would you hold me one more time? If you don't want to I'll understand. I'll leave you alone, I promise.' He looked utterly desolate.

It was only then that she fully understood what Polly had been trying to tell her - Tommy Shelby truly thought that he was the worthless creature that his father had always told him he was. She remembered all those times over the years when she had caught him looking at her uncertainly as if he was unsure as to why she was there, how defeated he had seemed when she had refused to marry him, the ease with which Eloise had led him to believe that he did not deserve the slightest love or kindness - it was all part and parcel of the damage that had been done by to him by his sorry excuse for a father. She had thought he was so strong, so confident. How had she never seen the truth before? She cursed her own blindness.

Eloise's cruelty had stripped away the protective shell that Tommy had built around his heart leaving it naked and vulnerable and by allowing herself to be driven away when he needed her the most Alice had confirmed Tommy's worst fears about himself. Alice felt a rush of anger - there was no way that she would let that twisted bitch destroy everything in him that was good. Slowly she walked towards him, kicking off her beaded slippers and discarding the silken dressing gown. He watched her approach, half hopeful and half wary.

When she reached his side she said roughly. 'Budge over then.' He looked at her confused until she made a little shooing motion with her hands. Once he had made room for her in the bed, she lifted the sheets and slid in next to him. Then, taking him in her arms, she allowed him to lay his head on her breast. At first he held himself rigid, as if afraid that any kind of movement would frighten her away. Then, as she softly stroked his hair, he began to relax and finally fell into a healing sleep.

***

The next morning Alice awoke with Tommy Shelby's erection pressed against her thigh. God that man truly was irrepressible! Smiling inwardly she recalled the first morning that she had woken up next to him in her little back-to-back in Balsall Heath and was unable to contain a small gasp of desire at the memory of what had followed. The soft noise woke Tommy and his eyes instantly sought out her face, anxious to gauge her feelings. When their eyes met Alice knew two things: Firstly, she needed Tommy as much as he needed her; and secondly, when he looked deep in to her eyes and asked if he could kiss her it was only ever going to end one way.

Sometime later, as they lay nestled together sated and relaxed, they finally began to open their hearts to one another - each new confession acting as a soothing balm on the wounds that they had inflicted and received in recent months. It was a conversation that they should have had many years before but pride, stubbornness, and genuine crossed wires had always got in the way. It was only now, since they had come so close to losing each other for ever, that they were able to be totally open with one another. They knew that it would take time to rebuild trust between them but it was time that they would both consider to have been well spent.

***

It took an Act of Parliament for Tommy to finally become free of Eloise but where a peer of the realm might have been humiliated by a public debate about the failure of his marriage, Tommy Shelby truly did not care. All that mattered to him now was his family and the life that he was going to build with Alice. It was a life that would be played out in full view of the rest of the world. This time it was Alice who did the proposing.

'How about it, Tommy', she said with a grin. 'What say I make an honest man of you?'

'About fucking time!' Arthur yelled from the next room, only to be elbowed into silence by Polly who was straining to hear Tommy's reply.

When it finally took place, Tommy and Alice's wedding was a quiet affair – just a low key service in the registry office in Birmingham city centre with only close family present. Charlie and Jack were both rather confused by the turn of events but with the resilience of youth they quickly adapted to the new set up and both seemed delighted by the move from friendship to brotherhood. But if the wedding was quiet, the party at Arrow House which followed it was destined to be a different matter entirely.

'Alright lads' Arthur said with a grin before downing half a pint of the Shelby family's finest whiskey. 'This is a respectable event and we will all behave accordingly.'  
'Just remember', said Polly with a sigh, 'No fucking fighting!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that I've taken the story of Tommy and Alice about as far as I can so this is it for them. I can never resist a nice happy ending so this it it BUT there will be a 'sad' ending coming though for those who find a happy ending a bit too unrealistic. (I love Tommy but honestly he has behaved like a complete twat!)
> 
> If you've stuck with me this far then thank you! I hope that you've enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please do leave me a quick review to let me know what you thought worked (and what didn't). I'm working on a few new stories now so it would be good to have your input before I get too far.


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